Wednesday, March 23, 2011

What A Weekend!

Where should I begin?

This past weekend was C-R-A-Z-Y!  I am not going to divulge the full details, because I feel like I’ve finally gotten over it.  

Saturday we visited the Durham, NC Museum of Life and Science.  This was an exploratory trip for the girls to do something fun with us, as well as a time for us to check out the Raleigh-Durham area to see if we might want to relocate there after adoption is finalized. 

We had the best day at the Museum!  The girls listened well, were very behaved, and overall it was a very joyous day for my husband and I. 

After our 5 hours at the Museum, we stopped for dinner at Chili’s, then we found a hotel room with a suite/pull out couch.  MK slept on the pull-out, and Layla on the couch cushions made into a “pallet” on the floor.  We closed the doors to the king sized bedroom and watched some TV.  I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly.

Sunday morning rolled around and we hit the town early to check out the different areas and to get an idea of if it felt like a place we could call home.  Then around lunch time, we had seen enough and decided to grab lunch and head home.

After lunch, on the way out of the restaurant, MK, my 90lb beast of a (almost) 7 year old threw the biggest tantrum, fit, rage whatever you want to call it in front of the Red Lobster. She's never pulled one in public, and this was the worst ever.   I had to hold and restrain her to keep her out of traffic.  It was a nightmare!

I was so exhausted, angry, confused, annoyed, upset, I mean there are not enough words to describe it.   I know she was probably feeling the same way.

In hind-sight, I don’t know for sure what triggered it all. 

The thought of moving?  Which we’ve discussed in detail, that everything comes with, including family, dogs, cats, toys, beds, that this move isn't like all of the others in her past etc.  

The payback for a good time?  Which we had an awesome time, and I did explain to them before that payback wasn’t necessary and they did deserve fun!

The impending adoption?  She says she is scared about being adopted.  I guess she thinks things change once the judges pen hits the paper.  We have assured her this is not true and we already live like they’re adopted. 

And last but not least…

Do we need a medication adjustment?   MK’s rage was terrible back after Christmas, and changing her Vyvanse from 20mg to 30mg made a HUGE difference.  I am seeing that same January kid again, and I don’t like it.  Her impulses have been over the top.  She’s bouncy and jittery.  She is squealing and shrieking at things instead of just saying “thank you.”   

Right now I am not sure.  We see Dr. K tomorrow for Layla’s 5 year check-up and I will be talking to her about MK’s present issues. 

I told MK this morning that we don’t have to talk to Dr. S (therapist) about it.  I have already decided to drop the matter.  Her consequence is she isn’t allowed to go anywhere alone with me until I can trust her.  If my husband hadn’t have been there, who knows what harm could have been done to both of us. 

Monday night, I told her the other part of the consequence was mandatory cuddle time with me because it was obvious we were feeling disconnected.  It was nice, but by no means did it really make a huge difference in her temperament. 

So we will see…. 

1 comment:

Melissa in Durham said...

I just found your blog recently while looking for more blogs by foster parents. I live in Durham, probably only a mile from the life and science museum, and wanted to say if you have questions about Durham for considering relocating, I'm happy to answer. I also work for a small town just north of Durham, Butner North Carolina. My wife and I have a 3 year old daughter that I gave birth to, and we hope to start the foster to adopt process this summer with parenting classes and hopefully we will also do some respite while we wait for the right placement and to gain experience in parenting kids with trauma. I have only been reading your blog this afternoon, btu so far I really enjoy it. Thank you for sharing your story.