tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39266553135326995862024-03-05T02:15:57.419-08:00Quacken Baby<center> A blog about family, adoption from foster care, healing, safety, and most of all LOVE! </center>Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-3619797074070839242013-04-03T09:37:00.001-07:002013-04-03T09:37:42.718-07:00Flexible Jobs and Being A Mom!It's difficult to find a "work from home" job, and even more difficult to work a rigid schedule with two kids (plus my nieces means 4). In the fall of 2012, I was looking to enter back into the work force, but one thing after another kept me from doing so. Finally, earlier this year I chose to homeschool, which meant working outside of the home was not possible! <br />
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In February, a close fellow adoptive parent friend of mine added me to a group on her Facebook where she was showing these amazing before and after photos of people! I'm a skeptic, so I just watched, googled, youtubed, watched... then finally, I took the leap and joined into the fun! <br />
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I started my CRAZY WRAP business through It Works! Global, Inc. in mid-February, and I haven't regretted it or looked back! I make my own hours, I meet new people, I HELP people transform their health and wealth... and I reap the benefits both physically and fiscally! :) <br />
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Here are my before/after pictures from my stomach and legs. So excited to share the changes in my body. If you're interested comments are welcome. <br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-67940029073405660732013-03-07T08:38:00.000-08:002013-03-07T08:38:01.772-08:00Homeschool, New Job, Extra Family... OH MY!Where to begin. So much seems to happen between blogging. I've really slacked, and I need to get back into the swing of updating you all. So apologies in advance. <br />
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Let's start with Extra Family! So I'm sure you will recall about a year ago I posted that they girls had a new baby sister born and placed with their younger brother's adoptive family. She is now adopted too by them! She is just the sweetest baby. A glimpse of how life could have been different for my girls if they weren't victims of horrible circumstance. Then in November of 2012, my sister and her three children relocated here to NC to live with us. It was an adjustment, but we love being one big family. The girls had a tough time at first, but then realized they get to have cousins to play with, and they have since gotten used to our bigger family dynamic. We are presently in the process of building a larger house so all of the kids can have their own bedrooms. <br />
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Moving on to Homeschool. We chose to bring the girls home and school them. After feeling like I was medicating MK just to get her through the school day and Layla was lacking the one-on-one attention she needed in some areas, we chose to homeschool instead. It's really going great and the attachment aspect of it has been wonderful for the girls. We spend time with several local homeschool groups and we love doing co-op classes. Then we also explore and learn on our own. It's very nice to make our own schedule. <br />
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I started my own business working from home and I am a distributor for It Works! Global. I LOVE THIS COMPANY! We carry natural supplements for weight loss and health support. Plus we carry these AWESOME wraps that can aid you in losing inches, tightening, toning, and firming in those trouble areas. I use the products myself and I'm just beyond thrilled with my results. After years of struggling in the weight loss department... I feel so empowered. Here are some of my results and some updated pictures of the girls! If you're interested in learning more about the wraps you can check out my facebook page <a href="http://www.facebook.com/wrappedslim">Wrapped Slim Facebook Group</a> or <a href="http://www.wrappedslim.com/">My Company Site for Wrapped Slim!</a><br />
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After two wraps<br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-46743097102102908782012-05-28T18:10:00.003-07:002012-05-28T18:10:22.817-07:00Those PROUD Mom MomentsMy girls do make me proud often. I need to remember to visit their school and classes more often to remind myself of how AWESOME they are. They behave, they listen, and they are very smart.<br />
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As we end the school year, I am reminded of when they first came and Layla had previously been thrown out of daycare, she didn't know her ABC's or how to count to 10, and I was scared she was going to be very far behind in class. I am so happy my fears were not met in reality! She is so smart! She reads, writes, does basic math, she can count to 100 and keep going. I am very proud of her accomplishments this year. For a girl who went through a ton of change, she came out shining like the sun! In July she will start the first grade, and I know it will be just as great! I should also add that she comes home with a positive report every day. We've had a few minor things but they are so normal for a Kindergartener I don't even care. I know she is one of the better behaved kids in class, especially after chaperoning a field trip last week where I couldn't believe how unruly some of her classmates were. I am so proud of her! Here are a few shots from the field trip.<br />
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Makayla ended this school year on a high note as well. Since she is only in 2nd grade, they didn't have any state testing, but they did do testing to prepare them for 3rd grade and measure their knowledge. I am so impressed with my girl. She might be the girl who rocks, fidgets, and blurts out things, but she is also one smart little lady. On the math portion of the test, she scored a 93% (A- or 4- where we live). She was in the top of the class as far as her score went. As for the reading portion, she scored a 98% (A+ or 4+) and her score was the highest in her entire class. I was so proud of her when I found this out at my conference last week, but more importantly, she was very proud of herself! We do have some work to do in the area of writing, she has a difficult time focusing and giving detail to her writing. She tends to "bottom-line" everything in a summary instead of truly detailing what happened. We're working on this at home though, and I am already seeing progress. <br />
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Last Friday was Makayla's end of the year music performance. She was very nervous, but did just fine. Here are a few pictures of her with her class. She is on the back row (tallest of course). <br />
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I am so proud... I can't believe the change in my girls, and the amazing little ladies they are growing to be. <br />
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We took some family shots at a local park in support of unconventional families across North Carolina. I can't wait to see the final product, but these are a few we took with my phone after the professional shoot, and I think they turned out very cute. <br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-54942406931466288602012-05-22T19:30:00.002-07:002012-05-22T19:30:35.456-07:00Becoming a CASAI'll admit I've felt a little out of sorts over the last year. Leaving my awesome job, moving, helping the girls heal more, and working on finding my role in my own life has been hard. I wish I could go back to work full-time but it just is not feasible at this point. The girls have appointments to work around, track out, etc. and I would virtually work to pay for their child-care and camps. <br />
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With that said, I need to do something. I need to fill this time without a "job" with something I feel passionate about. I want to go back to work one day when the demands of our family are less, and I hope I am able to pursue something in the human services field, and have considered getting my degree as a LCSW. <br />
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In the meantime, I just sent in my application to become a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). I feel that I can help children, share my knowledge, and support families. <br />
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I will post more when I know more! <br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-39399553529293224532012-05-22T19:14:00.000-07:002012-05-22T19:14:45.843-07:00Baby Backlash!So it has been a few weeks since we found out the girls have a new baby sister. She is growing fast and I am excited to see her again. Layla has done very well since our visit, and any mention of her baby sister is a happy one. Layla likes being my baby girl. She doesn't want baby "Sissy" to live here with us... because that would be the ultimate distraction from her. <br />
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MK on the other hand, has dealt with the news in a much different way. In hind-sight I saw the signs and didn't put the pieces together until I was sitting with her therapist talking about what all has happened since meeting "Sissy". MK had become very disconnected from me. Making very passive comments and just generally being disrespectful, which is very out of character for her. I realize that this brought up a lot of "stuff" about her, her birthmom, her past, her future...<br />
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I confronted MK while driving home with her (Layla was with her dad). I asked her if she was angry at me because I didn't "fight" to have the baby live with us. She quickly admitted that I was exactly correct. I explained once again that having the baby with us was not an option. Because she is in foster care, and we live out of the area, we can not legally bring her to live with us. Plus, she is with the girl's brother's family, and they are like extended family to us at this point. MK admitted that the baby reminds her of the good times. When Layla was a baby, before the drugs, and abuse, she was happy, and she remembers that. The other unfortunate thing, is that we now know mom is not making better choices. She is young, younger than I am, and I know that sadly this baby will not be her last, and it is just a matter of time before another baby comes into care. <br />
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It sucks... to know that a piece of my girls is missing for them. That they can't live with all of their siblings. Even though we keep contact, it is still so hard for them. We will continue to do the best we can with the cards we were dealt though. We love our "extended" family and are so grateful to keep that connection for our girls. <br />
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Since the realization that MK is having a hard time, I've committed myself to showing her more individual attention, no matter how hard that is at times. That push away she does to me... I just have to ignore it!<br />
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We will get back to normal just in time for something else to happen... because that is what keeps our life interesting! Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-56839630098438508192012-05-10T11:23:00.001-07:002012-05-10T11:23:35.557-07:00Human Rights!Yes, I live in NC, no I am not proud of that in light of our state's "Marriage" amendment passing. How does a state have the right to tell anyone they are not allowed to marry their partner, no matter the sexual orientation? How does a voter choose to strip away benefits from families just because their heterosexual parents co-habitat and are not legally married? <br />
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It makes me sick to think of all of the close minded people in this world. The people who say, "If you are a man and can marry a man, what's to stop you from marrying a dog?" Come on... let's be serious! I can't even believe someone let those words flow out of their mouth. <br />
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I think the thing that starts to frustrate me more than anything though is when an adoptive family opposes homosexuals adopting, or marrying. Or saying a child deserves a mother AND a father. <br />
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I come from a family of divorce, my father cheated on my mother... I am no better off with or without him in my life. If my mom were a lesbian, I don't think she would have "turned" me into a lesbian. <br />
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I also say to those people opposing homosexual adoption... what about that little girl, who the men she trusted molested her? Do you think she deserves to be forced into a male/female home? Or should she be allowed to live with a mother who helps her feel comfortable and fearless, and able to relax and heal? Even if that mother is a lesbian. <br />
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While we're on the topic... why do these close minded people think gay men are child molesters? When I look at the pedophiles in my area... would you believe they were ALL men who preyed upon girls? Not boys. <br />
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I know some of the most wonderful homosexual couples and individuals. They are kind, and hard working, and compassionate. They have struggled to find their personal identity in ways that we can't imagine, all because society made them feel like they weren't "normal". They have fought to be parents to children in desperate need for families, no matter the sexual orientation, to love them, and support them. <br />
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I'm just disgusted by the voters in our state who supported this amendment. So disgusted. Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-91366111568043573352012-05-07T19:24:00.000-07:002012-05-07T19:24:35.723-07:00A New Baby SisterWell, now that things have settled down I guess I will blog about it. A week ago I got a message from our daughters bio-brothers adoptive mom. (Did you follow that?) <br />
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She asked me to call her immediately. I thought maybe she had something to tell me about their new daughter placed as an adoptive placement about a month ago. What she told me instead was that she had a 2 day old baby girl coming to her that night. That 2 day old baby girl is the 100% biological sister to her sons and my youngest daughter (1/2 sister to my oldest daughter). <br />
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I guess we knew it might happen eventually, but it still came as a shock. Sadly, it confirmed birthmom still is making poor choices and isn't doing much better.<br />
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We told the girls at dinner that night. They were excited, concerned, confused, just a mixture of emotions. MK said it wasn't fair, we should have the baby since they already have two babies... but we explained we like our family just the way it is. <br />
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We quickly planned to go see her, and we went Saturday for a day trip to VA to meet her. <br />
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She is so sweet. So tiny, 5lbs 9oz. She looks SO much like Layla, but has MK's nose. <br />
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She's beautiful, and our girls have a little sister and we have a little niece. I am so thankful we will get to be a part of her life. <br />
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I can't share many pics because they all have her sweet face, but here are a couple.<br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-91807509777489091182012-03-31T20:10:00.004-07:002012-03-31T20:10:49.494-07:00Spring Has Sprung!I suppose it is time for an update. I now have a 6 and 8 year old! How the time is flying. <br />
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Makayla is hitting puberty. I helped her shave her underarms and the bottom of her legs since it is summer like weather here. Some days she makes me go "?@&$(%)@_!?!" with her actions, but I'm so impressed with their recent self-awareness. MK has noticed some traits that she doesn't like about herself. Most are personality traits. She's a little more aware of her impulsiveness. She recognizes when she needs to stop talking or doing something repetitive. With that though, she is learning to embrace things as well. She really LOVES spending time with her dad. Being in the garage with him is the #1 thing she likes to do. She enjoys taking things apart and figuring out how things work, which makes her totally compatible with my husband! She's growing up so fast, her body and her mind just can't keep up with one another. She's such a sweet and caring little girl though. <br />
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Layla is as silly as ever. She is doing phenomenal in Kindergarten. She can read and write now. I'm so impressed by her intelligence. She's had a few struggles lately with her feelings, but her ability to voice what she feels and come up with ideas on how she can fix how she's feeling or how we can help her is proving to be a huge help! She's more of a mama's girl, but she also enjoys time with her dad doing little projects or playing a game. She's the most loving little girl. She just wants to hug and cling to us most of the time... which does get annoying... but it's nice to feel like at least one of the girls is still "little". <br />
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We are doing well though and I'm really happy with all of the progress we're making as a family.<br />
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We took some spring pictures for family and friends, and I thought I would share a couple here on the blog for my followers. <br />
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<br />Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-47331790822477899862012-02-27T17:50:00.000-08:002012-02-27T17:50:13.916-08:0011 Random FactsMy in-real-life friend Carly from <a href="http://candcfamily.blogspot.com/">CandC Family Blog</a> tagged me, and I am finally getting around to this. I realize I am supposed to tag 11 people, but most of those who I follow already have something similar to this on their blog... so forgive me for not continuing the chain on this. <br />
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There are some rules:<br />
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1. Post these rules<br />
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself<br />
3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in<br />
4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer<br />
5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog<br />
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Eleven random things about me:<br />
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1. As a child/teen/adult I did a parody TV show. It was called "Funny Stuff" and aired on cable access in my town. Once we ended that show we started a scripted "mock-umentary" in the style of "The Office" about a gospel radio station that was changed to a pop station yet kept the same quirky, religious staff. I filmed up until I moved to NC, but make guest appearances from time to time.<br />
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2. I have a radio show that airs in Virginia. It's a show about random stuff regarding the entertainment world, mostly TV. I record it via Skype now with my best childhood friend. It's an hour a week for me to have fun and talk about funny things. <br />
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3. I love really off beat music. Most of my favorite songs haven't ever been on the radio. In fact due to the editing required some of them wouldn't even be the same song if they aired on the radio. <br />
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4. My favorite movie of all time is "Mermaids" starring Cher, Wynona Rider, and Christina Ricci. I just love it. I will watch it any time it is on TV, and was lucky enough to find it on DVD about 2 years ago for $5 at Big Lots. <br />
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5. I have a tendency to get REALLY into something and then lose interest rather quickly. For that reason I have many things I start and don't finish, and many hobbies that lay by the wayside after a short period of time. I usually pick them back up again eventually.<br />
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6. I REALLY love doing home improvement stuff. I especially love anything that gives me an instant result. Painting is a good example.<br />
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7. Although I grew up in a Christian family, my grandparents have a gospel group, and my best friend's dad is a pastor, we are a non-religious family. We do encourage our kids to learn about several religions though so that they are informed. <br />
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8. My nick-name in middle school was "Giraffe". I was super tall, long neck, and very lanky. It was fitting for sure. <br />
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9. I wear flip-flops year round. I do own some "real" shoes, but they just collect dust. I invest in pedicures instead of shoes.<br />
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10. My husband is my rock, I would be lost without him. I don't think there is anything he doesn't know about me. We have a great marriage and I only wish every child and wife had a person like him to depend on. <br />
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11. Of all of the places in the world to live, I really like where I live now! Raleigh is so great for families, I've made amazing friends here, and our family fits into the community and was welcomed with open arms. We're a few hours from the mountains and the beach. <br />
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Eleven questions from Carly:<br />
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1. What’s your favorite meal of the day? Dinner<br />
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2. Who do you talk to most in your extended family? My sister<br />
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3. What was your last New Years Resolution? I wanted to get healthier.<br />
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4. What is your favorite pet? My dogs<br />
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5. Have you ever travelled outside of the country? Only to Canada and the Bahamas.<br />
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6. Ideal Vacation? I'd really love to go places we've never been and learn about other cultures. I feel very niave sometimes about places around the world. <br />
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7. If you have kids, do you regret the names you chose for them? Thankfully, I like my girl's names. Layla chose her name, and Makayla came to us with her's but I liked it. Layla's name before was Alayaze (Alize) like the liquor beverage... so we're happy she chose to change it.<br />
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8. What kind of music do you listen to? I love weird music, but country is probably the most mainstream I get these days. <br />
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9. Favorite drink? Sweet Tea... although I am off of it now since I started weight watchers. <br />
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10. What kind of books do you read? LOL... parenting books usually. Otherwise they are audio books. <br />
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11. Hobby? If so, what? Crafting with my friends. Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-39078222421764606572012-02-17T17:57:00.000-08:002012-02-17T17:57:47.568-08:0018 MonthsThe girls have officially been home 18 months today! It's crazy to even think it has been that long, but at the same time, it just feels like they've always been here. <br />
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We're all in a really good space right now. We've been working hard on our new house (we closed on the end of January). The girls have new rooms that are what THEY wanted, not what we had already done prior to their arrival, or working around the rental home. <br />
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We changed schools, and that is going well so far. Layla is READING! How crazy is that? She came to us barely counting and with a distorted version of the ABC's. MK is doing larger math equations and working at building up her reading stamina. Both girls got straight A's (or 3's here in Wake County) on their report cards. I am just so stinkin' proud of them.<br />
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We are still in therapy, and will be for some time. We have the right medications and strengths right now, so that is a huge factor in our stability. <br />
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There isn't much more to update on. I should write more often, I realize that, but for the most part things feel pretty "normal" kid and less "trauma" kid these days, so I forget to blog about the silly kid stuff. <br />
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Hope everyone is well! Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-3404877150070874572012-01-02T17:24:00.000-08:002012-01-02T17:24:23.430-08:00Happy New Year!This new year brought an emotional rant from MK. Yesterday we caught her in a lie. She went into "drama mode" and let her dad have it in a verbal rant. I must say, as dad's go, my husband is an awesome one! He handles MK so well when she looses it. <br />
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During her rant she explained that she didn't feel we were very good parents because we choose not to do the things she wants us to do. She said she wasn't choosing for us to blame her for the lie, we were choosing that! <br />
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She is sick and tired of us. When my husband asked her why, she said because of all of the stuff we do, and she isn't making it up, it is true. She told my husband he knows what we're doing wrong and she wasn't going to tell us again! Apparently, nothing we do is working for her, like when we explain things she is confused. She asked, "What do I have to do to make you happy?" and he told her "You make me feel happy all of the time" and she said, "Well obviously it's not enough!". <br />
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Bless her heart. She is so mature sometimes, so emotionally immature sometimes, and so funny it hurts almost all of the time! <br />
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She went on for some time until she curled up in her dad's arms crying. She's so dramatic, it's almost unbelievable that she is only 7... she really sounds 14. <br />
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Outside of that, they started back to school today, and boy what a relief for all of us. Having them home all of December was tough! <br />
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In March, Layla is going to Horse Camp during the day, and MK is going to spend some quality one-on-one time at home with me. <br />
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I love these girls. There isn't ever a dull moment in this family!<br />
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Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-87270444289641376392011-12-19T09:58:00.000-08:002011-12-19T09:58:51.726-08:00The HolidaysWow... I can't believe it has been two months since I last blogged here about how well things were going. Overall, from day to day, things are still fine. It's just those small moments within the day that all parents have where you want to pull your hair out. <br />
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The girls are out of school for the entire month of December. This is one of the perks of having a year-round schedule. This is also one of the pitfalls. Our girls trauma flags don't really wave high around the holidays... THANK GOODNESS! We don't have those terrible feelings of worthlessness like many kids have. <br />
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This year we opted for experiencing things instead of gifting "stuff". We went to Florida to visit Nana's and Poppy's house for almost two weeks. This trip we went to Universal Islands of Adventure. The girls got to meet The Grinch. They LOVE The Grinch...and anything Dr. Seuss. Layla has taught herself how to read "Green Eggs and Ham". It is her FAVORITE book! She reads it several times a day. <br />
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For Christmas, Layla is getting a "brown" baby doll that fits newborn clothes, a couple of outfits for the baby, PJs for herself, and a toddler stroller. I had one I purchased and never used with flowers, so I am wrapping it for the baby doll to have. MK is going to get a big beautiful jewelry box. I got it for $35! I can't believe that deal. In addition to the jewelry box, she is getting two necklaces, a bracelet, and a ring with her birthstone, and a set of PJs. Between all of the gifts, I spent about $70 on each of them. <br />
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So that is our update. They are very excited to have 4 Christmases this year! Nana's (my mom), our house, Jojo's (my dad), and my in-laws. <br />
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I know they are getting bikes and helmets from my dad... who knows what all else! <br />
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Happy Holidays to You and Yours! Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-42876897617202910202011-10-19T12:01:00.000-07:002011-10-19T12:02:51.190-07:00Backing Off!It is truly hard to believe that it's been over a year since our girls came home to us.<br />
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<u><b>428 days!</b></u><br />
<ul><li>36,979,200 seconds</li>
<li>616,320 minutes </li>
<li>10,272 hours </li>
<li>61 weeks (rounded down)</li>
</ul>Did I ever think that in 428 days I could have a hand in molding them into two AMAZING little girls? <br />
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No... I didn't. If you look back at my earlier blogs, you will see the struggles, the pain, the sadness I had for my girls... and truly for my family. It was HARD WORK to get where we are. We have spent hours in therapy, parenting therapeutically, keeping the girls safe, showing them right from wrong, helping them become honest and upstanding individuals, but most of all LOVING THEM! I love them with every shred of my soul. That love wasn't instant, that love was built up over time... but now it's an everlasting type of love that can't be broken, no matter their choices, no matter where life leads us, no matter if I don't LIKE them... I will ALWAYS LOVE my girls. <br />
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Things are going really well. They are incredible little people. So smart, so funny, so kind-hearted, so accepting of our love for them, and so willing to rise to our expectations because they know they can trust us. <br />
I've started a new fun, light-hearted blog about the girls. Just a way to chronicle our day to day, but not focus on all of the "foster/adoption" side of things. I will blog here still when I feel I need to, but it might not be often. So if you need to ask me something, leave me a comment, I promise to reply!<br />
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You can visit the new blog at: <a href="http://whatsquacken.blogspot.com/">http://whatsquacken.blogspot.com/</a><br />
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Thanks to everyone for your support over these last 428 days, and I hope that when you are seeking support you can find it here in my previous blog posts, or by sending me a message.<br />
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Much love and healing to all of you!<br />
-ChristieQuackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-4511762627466543852011-10-14T04:59:00.000-07:002011-10-14T05:01:00.828-07:00What Is Track-in/out?A reader of my blog asked:<br />
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</b><br />
<b>"...What do you mean by "track out of school". Thanks."</b><br />
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In our school district we have two types of schools:<br />
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<b>Traditional:</b> You attend school from August/September to June with breaks for the holidays and then the summer off.<br />
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<b>Year Round:</b> This schedule runs on a track system. There are 4 different tracks that at any given time may be in session (tracked in) or out of session (tracked out). Our daughters attend Track 1 for their classes. This means they start their school year just after the 4th of July, then they are in class until mid-September when they "track out" (have a break) for the rest of September. They go back to school the first week of October, then they are "tracked in" (in class) until December. They are "tracked out" the entire month of December, and "track in" after the New Year's holiday. Then they are back in school until March where they are also off for the first 3 weeks of the month. Then we go back until June, and they track out the first part of June until July when their new school year will begin. <br />
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They also observe typical holidays, like Thanksgiving etc.<br />
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Here is a link to a year-round calendar: <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.wcpss.net/Calendars/2011-12/yearround_2011-12.pdf%20">Track Calendar</a><br />
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We personally LOVE the track schedule. It allows us to have a little time with the kids throughout the year, plus it provides us with the chance to vacation off-season at places like Orlando, the beach etc.Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-36694441487756328712011-10-05T08:17:00.000-07:002011-10-05T08:17:58.544-07:00Busy DaysSeptember was a very busy month for us. I blogged once... considering I use to blog daily, it's a little sad really. Being a stay-at-home mom has really taken over. When I worked, I had time at work that I could blog. Now that I'm home, I'm always out and about running errands, carpooling kids to the doctor, and soon Layla will start Irish Dance classes, and MK will start her art classes. <br />
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So I am going to try and blog at least once a week. <br />
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Now for the updates. The girls were tracked out of school on September 14th and went back October 3rd. I spent those weeks entertaining the girls with trips to the library, museums, outings with our play group, and we even had a play day with their brothers at a bounce house. <br />
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It wasn't as bad as I had pictured it. They mostly kept their behaviors at a manageable level. After the visit with the brothers though, Layla had a difficult time controlling herself for about 10 days. It's a hard sacrifice to make. The girls love their brothers, it isn't fair for them not to see them and keep that relationship intact, then at the same time, when they do see the boys, it triggers a lot in Layla behavior-wise. With that said, it is more important to me that they keep the relationship, even if it means a couple weeks of "resetting" Layla's attitude, mood, etc. <br />
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The girls are doing well in therapy. I especially love Layla's therapist. They are focusing on her anxiety control. We are also about to start some speech therapy and assessment. MK is doing well in all aspects right now. She is so smart, kind, and I am really proud of her for being able to appropriately voice how she is feeling in different situations. Layla is also voicing herself much better these days. Hopefully, those skills continue to grow and the girls can eventually fall out of the behavior and into the talking part of their problems. <br />
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We are starting a new medication for both girls. It is called <a href="http://kapvay.com/">Kapvay</a>. It's an extended release of Clonidine. MK is taking it at bedtime, and in the mornings. Layla is taking it at bedtime only. It has a sedating quality to it, so hopefully it will help with sleep. That wears off in about a week though, so we may also have to add in an actual sleep aid for Layla, since that is her biggest issue most of the time. <br />
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School is going great for both girls. Once we get MK's impulsive behaviors (talking out, getting up, interrupting, etc.) under control fully, I think she will excel even more. <br />
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The next couple of months the girls are in school, then in December they track out again for the entire month. We have a trip to Florida planned from December 5-12. I think this time around we will FINALLY get to do a theme park.<br />
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Our play group (an interracial families group) is amazing. The girls have made friends, as have I. They have been out past bedtime without any issues. It's been nice for them to see families like ours, mothers that care and discipline, friends that get them as individuals, it's just been awesome.<br />
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The move to North Carolina was absolutely the best thing we've ever done for our family. Our house in VA is due to close on October 14th. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. Then in the spring we plan to buy down here. <br />
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So great things on the horizon. We're still progressing more than regressing, so I guess we're doing alright!Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-62493872813821357412011-09-04T07:39:00.000-07:002011-09-04T07:39:47.414-07:00Holy Self-Recognition Batman!So I need to run some errands. Both girls wanted to stay home with my husband. I ask Layla if I take her with me will she behave? She said, "No". I asked her why, "Because it will be too crowded, and I will feel nervous." <br />
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Then she and MK went and looked through old photos after telling us they like it here more than with their birth parents because they were "evil". <br />
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Guess it is a good time for processing! <br />
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Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-59526147914919633462011-09-01T07:13:00.000-07:002011-09-01T07:13:14.018-07:00Spoken FeelingsOne year ago, the only way Layla knew how to express herself was through behavior. There isn't a harder thing to deal with than a behavior where you have ZERO idea as to what triggered it. A year ago, she sometimes didn't even know why she felt or acted the way she did. <br />
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Yesterday afternoon, my husband came home from work a little early and we had a disagreement. It was just a quick back and forth of how we both felt about the situation, and then it was over with. No yelling... but we certainly had on our "angry tone" voices.<br />
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At dinner, Layla was sitting across from me, and she said to MK, "Mommy and daddy were fighting and (looks at us) YOU SCARED ME!" <br />
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We quickly explained that it was a disagreement, the only thing hurt were feelings, and it was all ok. That is was okay to disagree with one another, but we talked about it and worked it out. <br />
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She came over and hugged on me. <br />
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THAT WAS B-I-G! I mean HUGE!!! That she saw something, took time to process what had happened, then verbally spoke as to what upset her and why she felt the way she felt. I was really proud of her. <br />
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This isn't to say next time she won't pitch a fit for no understandable reason, but it is certainly a step in the right direction. <br />
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Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-62340427315721803992011-08-29T07:18:00.000-07:002011-08-29T07:18:59.601-07:00Sure We Will Try It!A lot has been happening since I last posted. I will start with doctor stuff.<br />
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MK started back into therapy last week. It seemed to go very well. She said it was, "The best morning of my entire life". We're not 100% sure this therapist is right for her, but we decided as a couple to let MK choose if she wants to stay or try someone else. <br />
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Additonally, MK has changed from Vyvanse to Intuniv for her ADHD. The Intuniv isn't my favorite fit for her. It makes her very sleepy, and she is still becoming easily overstimulated and that is effecting her impulse control. <br />
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We start seeing a developmental pediatrician for both girls in October. We hope they will have much more insight into the medications needs for management of the girls anxiety, depression, and ADHD. <br />
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Layla will start therapy on the 8th of September. I met with her therapist, and I really like her. She focuses on anxiety and behavior modification, so we're hopeful she can help Layla with some of her quirky behavioral issues. <br />
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Layla is now taking Prozac instead of Mirtazapine. So far she is sleeping okay again, but it takes her a good hour to finally fall asleep. We might have to add a sleep aid into the mix, but we will look into that once we see the new doctor. For now, 10mg of Melatonin seems to do the trick. <br />
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Moving on from the doctor stuff, we are also trying a new method for positive reinforcement of good behaviors. This method came from Layla's new therapist, as a "try it and see" thing to help curb her defiance. <br />
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So the idea is come up with a small number of simple rules. Then you get the kids a small container and either mark a line, or have a line for them to fill to. Then you give them a penny whenever you catch them following the rules (subsequently, you can remove a penny after one warning for not following the rules, after a month, you just immediately remove the penny). Once they reach their line they get to both keep the pennies, and choose a prize from the prize box. On average, you want to give them 7-8 pennies a day. It's great because it's a forceful reminder to us that we need to praise the kids. The prize box is just cheap stuff. <br />
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So far, it's going pretty well for our two. <br />
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We let the girls chose the rules, and I must say it was a great test of their knowledge of our normal rules, because they included all of the for the most part. We kept it to 5 rules, with some encompassing a few different rules. These rules apply everywhere, home, school, outings, etc.<br />
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Our Family Rules:<br />
1) Be kind and respectful to all people, pets, and objects.<br />
2) Keep hands, feet, teeth, and objects to yourselves.<br />
3) Think before you speak and do.<br />
4) Always tell the truth, and do not sneak.<br />
5) Have a GREAT day at school.<br />
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Like I said, simple rules. <br />
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So I will update on our progress. I bought these cute containers at the Dollar Tree. They come two to a pack, and we can grab them to take with us when we go places.<br />
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Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-29667879939713115332011-08-18T05:49:00.000-07:002011-08-18T05:49:55.211-07:00Happy Gotcha Day!Yesterday was one year since we got the girls. How crazy is that? One year. I mean you have it all here on this blog. A year of our ups and downs. A year of learning, growing, and healing. It's a fun ride though. The girls are generally doing really well. Most days we have no issues. Some days when we do have problems they are age appropriate and tolerable for us. <br />
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I will leave you with a cute "Gotcha Day" picture. It happened to be school picture day too. Of course the girls had to dress alike! <br />
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Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-98125822560805912011-08-13T20:07:00.000-07:002011-08-13T20:11:00.623-07:00New Meds, door alarms, and therapy... OH MY!Now that I stay home full-time, I am not strapped down to a desk blogging about every thing we do... it's actually kind of nice because I don't really dwell on all of the little day to day things the girls do wrong. I've certainly become more of a "big picture/grand scheme" kind of thinker. Which is really what needed to take place. I fell in the trap that most of us therapeutic parents fall into... I started over analyzing all of the things the girls did. <br />
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Overall, the girls are doing really great. August 17th will be the 1 year anniversary of their move-in date. It's crazy to think it has ONLY been a year. I feels like so much longer. We've accomplished so much in a year. It's truly amazing.<br />
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The main changes we have had lately are medication switches. Layla's Mirtazapine (Remeron) stopped working rather suddenly. It left us with a very anxious child. We've switched her to Prozac and so far she seems to be doing well. We had one night of her not sleeping well, but we added 10mg of Melatonin (she was on 5mg before) and that seems to have sorted out the sleep issue. The other thing we did, after finding her roaming the house at 1:00am, was we bought a door alarm for her room. We got a 2-pack for $3.99 at Harbor Freight. Totally worth EVERY penny! I would say it is the best money we've ever spent. Layla doesn't sneak because she wants something... she sneaks to see if we will catch her. It's a little test that in her head goes something like, "I am going to sneak, if they catch me, I can trust that they are keeping me safe, if they don't catch me, it obviously must mean they have no interest in keeping me safe or showing me love". This lead to several tantrums, so the alarm was a physical reinforcement that we are keeping her safe. She loves the alarm. In fact when I told her I was buying it, she requested I purchase a purple one! LOL<br />
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MK has also switched her ADHD medication. The Vyvanse had gotten to the point that she wasn't able to focus well or stay on task, and she was very fidgety. We switched to Intuniv and we're on a low dose that will increase in the coming weeks. So far, aside from needed reminders to stay on task, she's doing pretty well with it. Hopefully, it will continue to be even more effective as we increase her dosage.<br />
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Lastly, we are starting therapy again for both girls. MK's therapist is going to help her with her peer relationships, her processing the past trauma, and her feeling comfortable in her new life as a family girl. Layla's therapist specializes in childhood anxiety and behavior modification. Since we've already completed attachment therapy, I think it is important for her to get a better grasp on controlling her anxiety so that eventually, we can think about taking medication away.<br />
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Despite their struggles, they are doing very well. School is going great (outside of peer issues with MK). They are making good grades, and being home fulltime has allowed me to have lunch with each of them during the week.<br />
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I will try to get around to updating a little more often! Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-68285939845854845012011-08-02T14:53:00.000-07:002011-08-02T14:58:29.332-07:00Poetry From MKMK's teacher ROCKS this year. I mean calls every few days with an update and listens and helps MK. It is SO nice to have someone like that on our team!<br />
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For her spelling words, she gets to pick from a big list of activities to practice the words. Today, she chose a poem. Not so bad for a 2nd grader!<br />
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<span lang=""><span lang=""><span style="font-size: large;">When I am a <u>wife</u></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I will have a lovly life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">My husband will <u>rake</u>,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">while I bake a <u>cake</u>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He will be all <u>mine</u>,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">even when we're ninety <u>nine</u>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I will kiss his <u>face</u>,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">no one will ever take his place.</span></span></span>Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-55144363478402282062011-07-25T16:53:00.000-07:002011-07-25T16:53:01.157-07:00Sometimes I wonder....Do any of the children adopted by "celebrities" have the emotional and behavioral issues we have endured with our children? I've never heard a celebrity speak out about PTSD, RAD, ODD, etc. with their adopted child. I'm not saying it hasn't happened, I've just never heard it. <br />
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I realize many adopt infants, but some adopted older children. <br />
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List of adoptive parents off of the top of my head:<br />
Angelina and Brad<br />
Hugh Jackman and his wife<br />
Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley<br />
Sandra Bullock<br />
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman<br />
Kirstie Alley<br />
Madonna<br />
Mary Louise Parker<br />
Meg Ryan <br />
Julie Andrews<br />
Cheryl Crow<br />
Calista Flockhart<br />
Diane Keaton<br />
Sharon Stone<br />
Rosie O'Donnell<br />
Steven Spielberg<br />
Jamie Lee Curtis <br />
George Lucas<br />
Barbara Walters<br />
Denise Richards (making news now)<br />
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I know there are many, many, more.... just don't recall them off of the top of my head. Crazy for there to be that many, with multiple adoptions for some, and to not recall a "negative" experience they've had. <br />
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For your fun reading pleasure: <a href="http://blog.weinbergerlawgroup.com/children-parenting-issues/10-celebrities-you-didn%E2%80%99t-know-were-adopted/">Celebs that were adopted...</a>Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-58955630736696262302011-07-23T11:32:00.001-07:002011-07-23T11:33:00.029-07:00Monsters...Since MK came to us (almost a year ago), she has always had bad dreams. I have doctors notes dated to before her time in care that state she would bang her head and rock all of the time. We still have those issues, but not nearly as frequently. <br />
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This weekend we are in Savannah, GA to meet my parents and pick up my younger sister for her to visit us in NC for the next 3 weeks. Naturally, we decided to stay in a hotel to visit with family for the weekend. <br />
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Last night, I barely slept. About every 20-30 minutes, MK would thrash around and bang her head violently in her bed. I was HEART BREAKING!!!! She literally looked like she was have a seizure at one point. <br />
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Finally, around 5:00am, I crawl into the bed with her to comfort her and help her get some sleep. <br />
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I don't know for sure if this happens nightly, my husband said it does. I just makes me so sad that despite all of the happy days we have, at night, she is haunted my memories of "bad" times before us. What do you do when the monster your baby dreams about isn't a "monster", but rather their birth family? <br />
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I asked her this morning and she said she just kept having bad dreams about her birth parents. <br />
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This mama is feeling so lucky to have such great kids, but I really wish I could make all of the bad go away. I guess as parents we all do right?Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-52255507845715978082011-07-18T18:28:00.000-07:002011-07-18T18:28:55.531-07:00This Move ROCKS!!!Moving to NC is about the best decision we've ever made. I love it here! There is so much to do (hence the lack of blogs lately). <br />
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Most of all, we've made all of these new great friends! With kids! And my girls finally know what it's like to have a neighbor to play with.<br />
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Speaking of my girls... have I mentioned how amazing they are doing? I mean absolutely, completely, amazingly different kids than the kids I blogged about a year ago. <br />
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This move was very much a fresh start for all of us as a family. They have new names, a new school, new house, new parents... and it totally freed them! <br />
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They are just incredible. <br />
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With that said, we are going to be starting back into therapy soon. Not because of anything in particular happening, but we need to keep their medications in place, and continue to build their skills at managing their emotions so that within the next 18 months we can wean them off of their anxiety medications. Their doctor is supportive of staying on for now, and if we remove them and have issues, she is more than happy to keep them on longer, but we're hoping by that point they will both have the security and confidence to be weaned. <br />
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So yea... I don't have much else to say I guess... school has started, they love their classes and teachers. I love their new school. <br />
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We're all just really happy! A year ago, I didn't think we'd ever get to this place we're all in...but we did! The H-A-R-D work paid off!!!! As we all know though, our work is never done! Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926655313532699586.post-65891299987849173052011-07-06T18:40:00.000-07:002011-07-06T18:40:32.347-07:00Our Hearts Are Sad...Over this past weekend, we found out a close friend of ours passed away. He and I met through work about 8 years ago, and he quickly became a good friend to my husband and I. They would play guitar and pretend to be able to sing. He and my husband were both fans of sci-fi. Just a good guy that could always make you chuckle with an off-beat joke. <br />
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"Uncle Sean" was also a photographer, and he was there the night we got engaged with a camera in hand (and we got engaged rather spontaneously), he was there to photograph our wedding, and just last month, we took a ton of family photos with him. <br />
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It's hard to imagine loosing a friend this early in my life. He was only 43 and died suddenly of a heart-attack while on vacation with his wife and friends. We didn't talk every day, or even every week, but we could always pick up right where we left off... we will miss you Sean! As both of my daughters said, "My heart is sad!"<br />
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I will leave you with my favorite photo of the girls and I, taken by him.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKkjWDdL7SmFIi8q4Rl26FlBaWqZmEgjTvbd0oZJWqNebd5dlRa9jqMO6hp8sCeZYVPcKzBc5jLOnx0SWi7xrTrn5gc9OfctbMr8Hqec-m1GBYy_WryB32ZmNrOnd2_ZiVaVQRSR-eBe8/s1600/img_9673.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKkjWDdL7SmFIi8q4Rl26FlBaWqZmEgjTvbd0oZJWqNebd5dlRa9jqMO6hp8sCeZYVPcKzBc5jLOnx0SWi7xrTrn5gc9OfctbMr8Hqec-m1GBYy_WryB32ZmNrOnd2_ZiVaVQRSR-eBe8/s640/img_9673.jpg" width="425" /></a></div>Quackenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04977266089549139672noreply@blogger.com2