First, Becca, thanks for the comment on my original post! I want to say that had she not explained it herself as "just being lazy" I would not have used that terminology for what was happening. On the flip side of that though, I knew something wasn't right.
Additionally, despite the reply I had imagined I would get, her therapist said I handled it exactly how I should have. I did not shame her for peeing, I but I told her how ashamed I was of her choosing to lay in it and causing me extra work when I would have otherwise been able to spend that time with her. Her therapist said that a low level of "I am very ashamed that this is happening" is what needs to happen for her to understand her actions DO effect others. And she agreed that this was indeed an ACTION not a REACTION to her fear, anxiety, control etc.
So as a followup, we did away with the pull-ups, and MK was on board with that idea the second I brought it up.
I decided the first few nights I would wake her around 10:00 (she goes to bed at 7:00) and take her to the potty. She went every night when I took her, then went right back to sleep. Friday and Saturday nights she takes Mirtazapine to help her sleep fully, and when I went to take her Friday, she said, "Mommy, I don't have to go". So I left her be.
For an ENTIRE week, she has not wet her bed. So that says to me, that we probably indeed were experiencing what I will now refer to as a convenience pee! Not lazy, just convenient.
So I am happy to report she is doing well, and even if we have a set back from time to time at least I will be able to know it is not happening due to an over dependence on her pull-up.