Friday, October 1, 2010


This week was just... wow!  I can't even put it all into words, and in order to protect my baby girl's "story" I won't share all of the details here.  With that said, Wednesday night, my 4 year old opened up to me more than I expected at this stage in our relationship.

My 6 year old had been in a grumpy mood, it was rainy out, and she just had a bad day, which is fine!  So I talked to her about what makes her feel "scared" and she continued to provide a bogus answer about kids on the playground playing the "red lava" game.  So I took this same opportunity to ask my 4 year old what makes her scared.  The answer was astonishing... to this day, I still can't believe the full answer.

The simple answer was the woods.  The woods scare my baby girl.  One might wonder why the woods?!?  Well, my poor baby girl was wrapped in a blanket and left in the woods when she was two.  By a man who said some very hurtful, mean, awful things to her.  By a man that threatened to slash her neck with a knife while he choked her.  

The things she says during her tantrums, the rage, the violent thoughts, yea, this man put all of that fear into her!  He, traumatized my little girl. 

This isn't something she made up, she doesn't understand making up things like this. 

I truly think, she is ready to move past this.  We're talking in therapy about it next week.  Her therapist wants to try and trigger some things in her to help her process and heal. 

It makes me angry, I mean to my core.  I can't believe for one second I thought I couldn't do this.  Because the truth is I AM THE ONLY ONE who has ever even tried.  Everyone else gave up on my baby!  All for something that plays back in her mind every time she feels scared, angry, or afraid.

So, we will move on from this, and I know she can heal. 

Thanks to everyone that has uplifted us in the last few weeks.  We're getting there! 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am SO happy to read this today. I have been wondering about you and your family. I went to the forums looking to see what was going on and then remembered your blog.

Good job & God Bless you.

mom2bemore Nicole