Expectations!

Over the last few weeks, I feel like we’ve finally hit a stride!  Both girls are on medication, and we’re already seeing a remarkable difference in our 4 year old.  She seems to be able to “pause” before she falls into a full on tantrum.  She hasn’t had a tantrum since Sunday October 3^rd.   Which I believe is a new record for us. 

I hate to utter those words sometimes, because it seems to spark one, but this time I feel a little more confident. 

Another thing I’ve been working hard on is setting them up to succeed and giving them expectations.   This has worked very well for them.  Sometimes I get worried if I tell them what’s next, it will increase their anxiety, but my new technique appears to be working.

Before we do anything, we go over the steps involved, and the “what’s next” part too.

A good example is, they come home from daycare, immediately, I let them pick a snack.  They sit down at the table, and I join them for a few minutes to hear about their day. 

Then I say, “Ok, so here is the plan for tonight”….

FIRST… we’re going to finish our snack and watch some TV/finish homework while mom makes dinner…OR if you don’t want to watch TV, you can play in the hallway with you ZhuZhu Pets (which are their favorite item this week). 

NEXT… we will take our medicine, AND THEN eat dinner.

That prepares them for a couple of steps.  Then at dinner, as we’re finishing I lay out the next part of the plan.

AFTER dinner… we’re going to get on our PJ’s, THEN we will brush our teeth, and we can hang out on the couch for 30 minutes before bedtime and watch TV OR talk. 

This prepares them for the ultimate goal of going to bed! 

Then as 7:30 approaches, I remind them of our next steps…

I go and get their bottles ready (part of our bonding at night)… then I tell them it is time to lay down for bed.

At bedtime, they get their bottle while I read the story of their choice, and then they get one song, hugs, kisses, and then the night is over and they’re sleeping soundly!

I know all of this will sound so simple to many of you, but remember we went from ZERO kids to TWO kids with a lot of need for attention and love. 

So, I think we’re making progress and I feel much more confident now than I did a few weeks ago. 

Also, I have prepared the girls for their new case worker (adoption worker) coming to visit on Wednesday night.  I told them her name, and I told them that she is the person that will be helping us adopt them.  They jumped for joy! Which made me see they want to be here!