Well, I just heard from the girl’s social worker and she will be meeting the girl’s current foster mom at our house tomorrow to transition the girls into our home full time.
Now for some updates, since I haven’t been updating as often…
The full week of respite went really well. Just as we got into the groove, they went back “home” for a couple of days. During the mix I had my wisdom tooth extracted which wiped me completely out! My husband did a great job entertaining the girls. They went to the park, the local Science Museum, and visited with my in-laws who were down from New York.
The week of respite brought a few “issues” to light for us. One of the big issues we have to contend with is our 4 year olds emotional outbursts/tantrums. I am typically able to talk it out, but sometimes she just looses it. It isn’t as bad as other children’s tantrums that I’ve seen. I am hoping the frequency will die down once she sees that she is living with us.
In hind-sight the tantrums are a bit funny. As you can imagine, a four year olds comebacks can only be funny! A few of my favorites are:
“I hate you, and you can’t be my mommy now”—“I don’t care about having fun as a family, you only like having fun”—“Mommy, I am going to kill you… and then if you call the police, you better tell them I will kill them too…”
For the record, she doesn’t have violent tendencies. She tries to hurt you with her words. Honestly, on some other moms, it might actually work. I know that she is speaking from a very insecure place though, and during the tantrums, I just remind her that I love her, I won’t tolerate these behaviors, and once she calms down we can talk.
It amazes my husband and me both though how she goes from full on bull in a China shop, to happy smiling and loving.
Our 6 year old has her “issues” too. She has spent a great majority of her life taking up for her sister and speaking up for her too. This past week we really had to make it clear that our 4 year old is her own person, she has her own feelings, and her own opinions. She is allowed to vocalize things to us, and we don’t need our 6 year olds help when we’re disciplining.
When the door shuts for our “tantrum time” our 6 year old always comes busting through with some problem… I know it’s just to be nosey, but we had to put our foot down.
The easiest explanation for us is that school starts soon, and she will no be there to take up for or keep her sister out of trouble. Each of them will have to be responsible for their own actions.
I also reassured both of them that we’re not backing out on them. They’re going to be part of our family. We will work through any problems and be smarter and better prepared in the end.
All of this is so much easier said than done. I swear, I don’t like to hear myself talk. However, I did find myself arguing with a 4 year old. Thankfully, I recognized and stopped before it got heated! :)
So, those are our updates for the moment. This week is busy with registering for daycare, school, and all of those good things. I will try to update along the way.