This new year brought an emotional rant from MK. Yesterday we caught her in a lie. She went into "drama mode" and let her dad have it in a verbal rant. I must say, as dad's go, my husband is an awesome one! He handles MK so well when she looses it.
During her rant she explained that she didn't feel we were very good parents because we choose not to do the things she wants us to do. She said she wasn't choosing for us to blame her for the lie, we were choosing that!
She is sick and tired of us. When my husband asked her why, she said because of all of the stuff we do, and she isn't making it up, it is true. She told my husband he knows what we're doing wrong and she wasn't going to tell us again! Apparently, nothing we do is working for her, like when we explain things she is confused. She asked, "What do I have to do to make you happy?" and he told her "You make me feel happy all of the time" and she said, "Well obviously it's not enough!".
Bless her heart. She is so mature sometimes, so emotionally immature sometimes, and so funny it hurts almost all of the time!
She went on for some time until she curled up in her dad's arms crying. She's so dramatic, it's almost unbelievable that she is only 7... she really sounds 14.
Outside of that, they started back to school today, and boy what a relief for all of us. Having them home all of December was tough!
In March, Layla is going to Horse Camp during the day, and MK is going to spend some quality one-on-one time at home with me.
I love these girls. There isn't ever a dull moment in this family!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Monday, December 19, 2011
The Holidays
Wow... I can't believe it has been two months since I last blogged here about how well things were going. Overall, from day to day, things are still fine. It's just those small moments within the day that all parents have where you want to pull your hair out.
The girls are out of school for the entire month of December. This is one of the perks of having a year-round schedule. This is also one of the pitfalls. Our girls trauma flags don't really wave high around the holidays... THANK GOODNESS! We don't have those terrible feelings of worthlessness like many kids have.
This year we opted for experiencing things instead of gifting "stuff". We went to Florida to visit Nana's and Poppy's house for almost two weeks. This trip we went to Universal Islands of Adventure. The girls got to meet The Grinch. They LOVE The Grinch...and anything Dr. Seuss. Layla has taught herself how to read "Green Eggs and Ham". It is her FAVORITE book! She reads it several times a day.
For Christmas, Layla is getting a "brown" baby doll that fits newborn clothes, a couple of outfits for the baby, PJs for herself, and a toddler stroller. I had one I purchased and never used with flowers, so I am wrapping it for the baby doll to have. MK is going to get a big beautiful jewelry box. I got it for $35! I can't believe that deal. In addition to the jewelry box, she is getting two necklaces, a bracelet, and a ring with her birthstone, and a set of PJs. Between all of the gifts, I spent about $70 on each of them.
So that is our update. They are very excited to have 4 Christmases this year! Nana's (my mom), our house, Jojo's (my dad), and my in-laws.
I know they are getting bikes and helmets from my dad... who knows what all else!
Happy Holidays to You and Yours!
The girls are out of school for the entire month of December. This is one of the perks of having a year-round schedule. This is also one of the pitfalls. Our girls trauma flags don't really wave high around the holidays... THANK GOODNESS! We don't have those terrible feelings of worthlessness like many kids have.
This year we opted for experiencing things instead of gifting "stuff". We went to Florida to visit Nana's and Poppy's house for almost two weeks. This trip we went to Universal Islands of Adventure. The girls got to meet The Grinch. They LOVE The Grinch...and anything Dr. Seuss. Layla has taught herself how to read "Green Eggs and Ham". It is her FAVORITE book! She reads it several times a day.
For Christmas, Layla is getting a "brown" baby doll that fits newborn clothes, a couple of outfits for the baby, PJs for herself, and a toddler stroller. I had one I purchased and never used with flowers, so I am wrapping it for the baby doll to have. MK is going to get a big beautiful jewelry box. I got it for $35! I can't believe that deal. In addition to the jewelry box, she is getting two necklaces, a bracelet, and a ring with her birthstone, and a set of PJs. Between all of the gifts, I spent about $70 on each of them.
So that is our update. They are very excited to have 4 Christmases this year! Nana's (my mom), our house, Jojo's (my dad), and my in-laws.
I know they are getting bikes and helmets from my dad... who knows what all else!
Happy Holidays to You and Yours!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Backing Off!
It is truly hard to believe that it's been over a year since our girls came home to us.
428 days!
No... I didn't. If you look back at my earlier blogs, you will see the struggles, the pain, the sadness I had for my girls... and truly for my family. It was HARD WORK to get where we are. We have spent hours in therapy, parenting therapeutically, keeping the girls safe, showing them right from wrong, helping them become honest and upstanding individuals, but most of all LOVING THEM! I love them with every shred of my soul. That love wasn't instant, that love was built up over time... but now it's an everlasting type of love that can't be broken, no matter their choices, no matter where life leads us, no matter if I don't LIKE them... I will ALWAYS LOVE my girls.
Things are going really well. They are incredible little people. So smart, so funny, so kind-hearted, so accepting of our love for them, and so willing to rise to our expectations because they know they can trust us.
I've started a new fun, light-hearted blog about the girls. Just a way to chronicle our day to day, but not focus on all of the "foster/adoption" side of things. I will blog here still when I feel I need to, but it might not be often. So if you need to ask me something, leave me a comment, I promise to reply!
You can visit the new blog at: http://whatsquacken.blogspot.com/
Thanks to everyone for your support over these last 428 days, and I hope that when you are seeking support you can find it here in my previous blog posts, or by sending me a message.
Much love and healing to all of you!
-Christie
428 days!
- 36,979,200 seconds
- 616,320 minutes
- 10,272 hours
- 61 weeks (rounded down)
No... I didn't. If you look back at my earlier blogs, you will see the struggles, the pain, the sadness I had for my girls... and truly for my family. It was HARD WORK to get where we are. We have spent hours in therapy, parenting therapeutically, keeping the girls safe, showing them right from wrong, helping them become honest and upstanding individuals, but most of all LOVING THEM! I love them with every shred of my soul. That love wasn't instant, that love was built up over time... but now it's an everlasting type of love that can't be broken, no matter their choices, no matter where life leads us, no matter if I don't LIKE them... I will ALWAYS LOVE my girls.
Things are going really well. They are incredible little people. So smart, so funny, so kind-hearted, so accepting of our love for them, and so willing to rise to our expectations because they know they can trust us.
I've started a new fun, light-hearted blog about the girls. Just a way to chronicle our day to day, but not focus on all of the "foster/adoption" side of things. I will blog here still when I feel I need to, but it might not be often. So if you need to ask me something, leave me a comment, I promise to reply!
You can visit the new blog at: http://whatsquacken.blogspot.com/
Thanks to everyone for your support over these last 428 days, and I hope that when you are seeking support you can find it here in my previous blog posts, or by sending me a message.
Much love and healing to all of you!
-Christie
Friday, October 14, 2011
What Is Track-in/out?
A reader of my blog asked:
"...What do you mean by "track out of school". Thanks."
In our school district we have two types of schools:
Traditional: You attend school from August/September to June with breaks for the holidays and then the summer off.
Year Round: This schedule runs on a track system. There are 4 different tracks that at any given time may be in session (tracked in) or out of session (tracked out). Our daughters attend Track 1 for their classes. This means they start their school year just after the 4th of July, then they are in class until mid-September when they "track out" (have a break) for the rest of September. They go back to school the first week of October, then they are "tracked in" (in class) until December. They are "tracked out" the entire month of December, and "track in" after the New Year's holiday. Then they are back in school until March where they are also off for the first 3 weeks of the month. Then we go back until June, and they track out the first part of June until July when their new school year will begin.
They also observe typical holidays, like Thanksgiving etc.
Here is a link to a year-round calendar: Track Calendar
We personally LOVE the track schedule. It allows us to have a little time with the kids throughout the year, plus it provides us with the chance to vacation off-season at places like Orlando, the beach etc.
"...What do you mean by "track out of school". Thanks."
In our school district we have two types of schools:
Traditional: You attend school from August/September to June with breaks for the holidays and then the summer off.
Year Round: This schedule runs on a track system. There are 4 different tracks that at any given time may be in session (tracked in) or out of session (tracked out). Our daughters attend Track 1 for their classes. This means they start their school year just after the 4th of July, then they are in class until mid-September when they "track out" (have a break) for the rest of September. They go back to school the first week of October, then they are "tracked in" (in class) until December. They are "tracked out" the entire month of December, and "track in" after the New Year's holiday. Then they are back in school until March where they are also off for the first 3 weeks of the month. Then we go back until June, and they track out the first part of June until July when their new school year will begin.
They also observe typical holidays, like Thanksgiving etc.
Here is a link to a year-round calendar: Track Calendar
We personally LOVE the track schedule. It allows us to have a little time with the kids throughout the year, plus it provides us with the chance to vacation off-season at places like Orlando, the beach etc.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Busy Days
September was a very busy month for us. I blogged once... considering I use to blog daily, it's a little sad really. Being a stay-at-home mom has really taken over. When I worked, I had time at work that I could blog. Now that I'm home, I'm always out and about running errands, carpooling kids to the doctor, and soon Layla will start Irish Dance classes, and MK will start her art classes.
So I am going to try and blog at least once a week.
Now for the updates. The girls were tracked out of school on September 14th and went back October 3rd. I spent those weeks entertaining the girls with trips to the library, museums, outings with our play group, and we even had a play day with their brothers at a bounce house.
It wasn't as bad as I had pictured it. They mostly kept their behaviors at a manageable level. After the visit with the brothers though, Layla had a difficult time controlling herself for about 10 days. It's a hard sacrifice to make. The girls love their brothers, it isn't fair for them not to see them and keep that relationship intact, then at the same time, when they do see the boys, it triggers a lot in Layla behavior-wise. With that said, it is more important to me that they keep the relationship, even if it means a couple weeks of "resetting" Layla's attitude, mood, etc.
The girls are doing well in therapy. I especially love Layla's therapist. They are focusing on her anxiety control. We are also about to start some speech therapy and assessment. MK is doing well in all aspects right now. She is so smart, kind, and I am really proud of her for being able to appropriately voice how she is feeling in different situations. Layla is also voicing herself much better these days. Hopefully, those skills continue to grow and the girls can eventually fall out of the behavior and into the talking part of their problems.
We are starting a new medication for both girls. It is called Kapvay. It's an extended release of Clonidine. MK is taking it at bedtime, and in the mornings. Layla is taking it at bedtime only. It has a sedating quality to it, so hopefully it will help with sleep. That wears off in about a week though, so we may also have to add in an actual sleep aid for Layla, since that is her biggest issue most of the time.
School is going great for both girls. Once we get MK's impulsive behaviors (talking out, getting up, interrupting, etc.) under control fully, I think she will excel even more.
The next couple of months the girls are in school, then in December they track out again for the entire month. We have a trip to Florida planned from December 5-12. I think this time around we will FINALLY get to do a theme park.
Our play group (an interracial families group) is amazing. The girls have made friends, as have I. They have been out past bedtime without any issues. It's been nice for them to see families like ours, mothers that care and discipline, friends that get them as individuals, it's just been awesome.
The move to North Carolina was absolutely the best thing we've ever done for our family. Our house in VA is due to close on October 14th. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. Then in the spring we plan to buy down here.
So great things on the horizon. We're still progressing more than regressing, so I guess we're doing alright!
So I am going to try and blog at least once a week.
Now for the updates. The girls were tracked out of school on September 14th and went back October 3rd. I spent those weeks entertaining the girls with trips to the library, museums, outings with our play group, and we even had a play day with their brothers at a bounce house.
It wasn't as bad as I had pictured it. They mostly kept their behaviors at a manageable level. After the visit with the brothers though, Layla had a difficult time controlling herself for about 10 days. It's a hard sacrifice to make. The girls love their brothers, it isn't fair for them not to see them and keep that relationship intact, then at the same time, when they do see the boys, it triggers a lot in Layla behavior-wise. With that said, it is more important to me that they keep the relationship, even if it means a couple weeks of "resetting" Layla's attitude, mood, etc.
The girls are doing well in therapy. I especially love Layla's therapist. They are focusing on her anxiety control. We are also about to start some speech therapy and assessment. MK is doing well in all aspects right now. She is so smart, kind, and I am really proud of her for being able to appropriately voice how she is feeling in different situations. Layla is also voicing herself much better these days. Hopefully, those skills continue to grow and the girls can eventually fall out of the behavior and into the talking part of their problems.
We are starting a new medication for both girls. It is called Kapvay. It's an extended release of Clonidine. MK is taking it at bedtime, and in the mornings. Layla is taking it at bedtime only. It has a sedating quality to it, so hopefully it will help with sleep. That wears off in about a week though, so we may also have to add in an actual sleep aid for Layla, since that is her biggest issue most of the time.
School is going great for both girls. Once we get MK's impulsive behaviors (talking out, getting up, interrupting, etc.) under control fully, I think she will excel even more.
The next couple of months the girls are in school, then in December they track out again for the entire month. We have a trip to Florida planned from December 5-12. I think this time around we will FINALLY get to do a theme park.
Our play group (an interracial families group) is amazing. The girls have made friends, as have I. They have been out past bedtime without any issues. It's been nice for them to see families like ours, mothers that care and discipline, friends that get them as individuals, it's just been awesome.
The move to North Carolina was absolutely the best thing we've ever done for our family. Our house in VA is due to close on October 14th. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. Then in the spring we plan to buy down here.
So great things on the horizon. We're still progressing more than regressing, so I guess we're doing alright!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Holy Self-Recognition Batman!
So I need to run some errands. Both girls wanted to stay home with my husband. I ask Layla if I take her with me will she behave? She said, "No". I asked her why, "Because it will be too crowded, and I will feel nervous."
Then she and MK went and looked through old photos after telling us they like it here more than with their birth parents because they were "evil".
Guess it is a good time for processing!
Then she and MK went and looked through old photos after telling us they like it here more than with their birth parents because they were "evil".
Guess it is a good time for processing!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Spoken Feelings
One year ago, the only way Layla knew how to express herself was through behavior. There isn't a harder thing to deal with than a behavior where you have ZERO idea as to what triggered it. A year ago, she sometimes didn't even know why she felt or acted the way she did.
Yesterday afternoon, my husband came home from work a little early and we had a disagreement. It was just a quick back and forth of how we both felt about the situation, and then it was over with. No yelling... but we certainly had on our "angry tone" voices.
At dinner, Layla was sitting across from me, and she said to MK, "Mommy and daddy were fighting and (looks at us) YOU SCARED ME!"
We quickly explained that it was a disagreement, the only thing hurt were feelings, and it was all ok. That is was okay to disagree with one another, but we talked about it and worked it out.
She came over and hugged on me.
THAT WAS B-I-G! I mean HUGE!!! That she saw something, took time to process what had happened, then verbally spoke as to what upset her and why she felt the way she felt. I was really proud of her.
This isn't to say next time she won't pitch a fit for no understandable reason, but it is certainly a step in the right direction.
Yesterday afternoon, my husband came home from work a little early and we had a disagreement. It was just a quick back and forth of how we both felt about the situation, and then it was over with. No yelling... but we certainly had on our "angry tone" voices.
At dinner, Layla was sitting across from me, and she said to MK, "Mommy and daddy were fighting and (looks at us) YOU SCARED ME!"
We quickly explained that it was a disagreement, the only thing hurt were feelings, and it was all ok. That is was okay to disagree with one another, but we talked about it and worked it out.
She came over and hugged on me.
THAT WAS B-I-G! I mean HUGE!!! That she saw something, took time to process what had happened, then verbally spoke as to what upset her and why she felt the way she felt. I was really proud of her.
This isn't to say next time she won't pitch a fit for no understandable reason, but it is certainly a step in the right direction.
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